May I have your attention pleaseMay I have your attention pleaseWill the real Slim Shady please stand upI repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand upWe're going to have a problem hereYa'll act like you never seen a white person beforejaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the doorstarted whoopin her ass worse than beforethey first get divorced throwing her over furnitureIt's the return of theOh wait no way your kidding he didn't just say what I think he did did heAnd Dr Dre saidNothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead he's locked in my basement（HAHA!）Feminist women love EminemChicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of himlook at him walking around grabbing his you know whatlimpin' to you know who yeah but hes so cute thoughYea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loosebut no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedroomsSometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loosebut can't but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moosemy bum is on your lips my bum is on your lipsand if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kissand that's the message that we deliver to little kidsand expect them not to know what a womens ******** isOf course they gonna know what intercourse isby the time they hit 4th gradethey got the discovery channel don't theyWe ain't nothing but mammals well some of us cannibalswho cut other people open like cantaloupesBut if we can hump dead animals and antelopesthen there's no reason that a man and another man can't elopeBut if you feel like I feel I got the antidoteWomen wave your panty hoes sing the chorus and it goesI'm Slim ShadyYes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim ShadyPlease stand up Please stand up Please stand upbecuase I'm Slim ShadyYes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim shadyPlease stand up Please stand up Please stand upWill Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell recordsWell I do so **** him and **** you tooYou think I give a damm about a GrammyHalf of you critics can't even stomach me let alone stand meBut Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weirdWhy So you guys can just lie to get me hereSo you can sit me here next to Britney Spears**** Christina Aguilera better switch me chairsSo I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred DurstAnd hear 'em argue over who she gave head to firstLittle ***** put me on blast on MTVyeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim heheI should download her audio on mp3And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V DI'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy meSo I've been sent here to destroy youAnd theres a million of us just like meWho cuss like meWho just don't give a **** like meWho dress like meWalk talk and act like meIt just might be the next best thingBut not quite meI'm Slim ShadyYes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim ShadyPlease stand up Please stand up Please stand upbecuase I'm Slim ShadyYes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim shadyPlease stand up Please stand up Please stand upI'm like a headtrip to listen toCause I'm only giving youthings you joke about with your friends inside your living roomThe only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'llAnd I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at allI just get on the mic and spit itAnd whether you like to admit itI just **** it better than 90% of you rappers out thereThen you wonder how can kidz eat up these albums like valiumsIts funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 30Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirtyPinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerkingBut this whole bag of viagra isn't workingAnd every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion ringsOr in the parking lot circlingscreaming I don't give a ****With his windows down and system upSo will the real Shady please stand upand put one of those fingures on each hand upand to be proud to be outta your mind and outta controland one more time loud as you can how does it goCuz I'm Slim ShadyYes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim ShadyPlease stand up Please stand up Please stand upbecuase I'm Slim ShadyYes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim shadyPlease stand up Please stand up Please stand upI'm Slim ShadyYes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim ShadyPlease stand up Please stand up Please stand upbecuase I'm Slim ShadyYes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim shadyPlease stand up Please stand up Please stand up